My father was not brought up in an active Christian household. At the age of 31 he was standing on the platform at Eastbourne railway station, looked around, and saw a poster. The poster was advertising a lecture, to be given by the Eastbourne Christadelphians. He read it, and thought to himself, “Well, that's interesting, I might go along to that”. And so he did.

At the end of the talk, one of the members of the Eastbourne Christadelphians came over and sat next to him and asked him the question, “Did you enjoy that?” My dad said, “Yes, I did.” This brother then asked, “Would you like to come and discover a little bit more about the bible?” And my father agreed that that would be a good idea.

So the following Tuesday evening, my father went round to this person's house, and together they looked at the Bible for the next three years. At the end of that, my dad turned to this individual and said, “I want to be baptised”. And this guy went, “Oh, my goodness me.” He said, “But you've never actually been to a Christadelphian meeting.” My dad looked at him and said, “I'm not getting baptised into the Christadelphians. I'm getting baptised into the Lord Jesus Christ.”

You know, when I first heard that story, I was only four at the time. I was blown away. You see, I appreciated that my father completely understood the significance of what he was doing. That he was forming a long term relationship with Jesus, not “becoming a Christadelphian”.

Ever since then I've been thinking quite a lot about those sorts of things — about being a Christadelphian. It's a strange phrase that we use, isn't it? I've used it on many occasions, you know, "I am a Christadelphian". And we're not alone. When people talk about their religion, they say, “I am a Catholic” or “I am a Jehovah's Witness” or “"I am a Christadelphian" ”. It's a natural default position that we use.

You know what? I am not very sure what the mechanics of the judgment will look like. But one thing I am certain is that it will not be a case of me turning up at the judgment seat and saying, “I am Anthony Whitehorn and I'm a Christadelphian”, and Jesus saying, “Oh, come on in”. It won't be like that! It's much more about that an individual thing. Having the label, "I am a Christadelphian" isn't a passport.

So why do we say that? Why do we say "I am a Christadelphian"? It's quite fascinating when you look at clubs. When people belong to a club, what do they say? They, say, might like photography, “Oh, I belong to such and such a photographic society,” or, “I belong to a particular football club,” or, “I belong to this gym.” And it's understandable that people say that, because as a human race, we want to fit in, we want to be part of things. Human psychologists all agree, the idea of belonging, the sense of belonging, promotes happiness and motivation. And the opposite of that — estrangement — elicits loneliness, and being alone, which in itself can cause mental challenges.

Being part of something is definitely an attribute that we humans desire. But when we come to our religion, our church, we use slightly different language. We don't often say, “Oh, I belong to the Christadelphian church”. Our phraseology is more like, "I am a Christadelphian".

Why do we say that?

Well, firstly, it's a very good shortcut. It sets my status exactly where I'm coming from. So I do understand why we use that turn of phrase. It's a positioning statement for us. But why do we say, "I am a Christadelphian,” as opposed to, “I belong to the Christian church”?

I put it to you that when we say I belong to something, we are suggesting that we are a participant. I belong to this football club, I participate in this football club. But when we come to our church. We want people to appreciate that this is a different activity,. We aren't partakers — it is a lifelong commitment. And on that basis we say, "I am a Christadelphian". Completely understandable.

But my challenge to you is this: saying the words, "I am a Christadelphian,” has certain inherent dangers. And here are just some of them.

Hiding behind the banner

I’ve titled the first, ‘Hiding behind the banner’. When my eldest son was 15, we had a UK general election. I remember it vividly. I remember James, my son, coming up to me. He said, “So, dad, who are you going to vote for in the general election?” It's a democratic society, and therefore your vote is important, to make sure that you get a government that you would like. It is a very important process, so I understand why he asked me the question. I turned him and said, “Well, I'm not going to vote". He was somewhat surprised, and said, “Oh, why not, dad?” And I said, “Well, I'm a Christadelphian”.

He stopped and he looked at me, and he went, “Dad I'm not interested in what Christadelphians do. Why don't you vote?”

It really took me by surprise, in a way. But it made me stop and think about my own individual attitude. What was motivating me?

You know, there's an awful lot of people, including myself, who look at this as what I belong to. "I am a Christadelphian — therefore, these are the things that I should do, and these are things I shouldn't do.” And because of that, we follow that viewpoint. I was going to say we delegate some of those decisions, but I would say we abdicate some of those decisions.

And when James challenged me, it took me back. I thought to myself, why don't I vote? Irrespective to what the Christadelphians believe?

So, there is a tendency when you say “I am a Christadelphian” to hide behind the banner.

Losing our individualism

Secondly, I think that we have to be careful that we don’t lose our identity — probably individualism is a better turn of phrase. Again, what do I mean by that?

Well, when you look at me, I am completely and utterly unique. There is nobody living at this moment in time who looks anything like this. And you're probably thinking, thank goodness for that! What is remarkable is that there's never, ever, been anybody who looks exactly the same as me, or ever will be somebody who looks exactly the same as me. I am completely unique. I have two eyes, a nose, and mouth, and am like most people. But every single one of us is different. There may be some similarities, but we are bespoke. We are handcrafted.

Why did God do that? Why did God make us physically unique, different? I think he is emphasising that we are special, that we are individuals. Not just on the outside — that’s just a picture of what goes on the inside, whether it be our personality, our spirituality and morality, whether it be our direction, or our perception. All of those come together to make somebody that is different from everybody else that has ever lived, or ever will live. God is saying, “You are unique.”

I remember when my second son, Luke, was born. I remember coming home that night after birth and just lying in bed and thinking to myself, “Oh my goodness me. I've got now a second son. How on earth am I going to be able to love Luke as much as I love James?”

Of course, over the years, I've realised that my relationship with Luke is different from my relationship with James and, in turn, is different from my relationship with my daughter Abigail. Not because I've changed, but because they are different individuals. Because of that, the relationship that I have with each of them (whilst different) is very special, and while beautiful and very blessed, it is different. I think that that's what God wants and appreciates with us. He has made us different. And because of that, he expects us to express ourselves differently to him, and have that individuality, that special relationship, that we each can have specifically with him.

That means that when I have a relationship with John or with Paul, while I might think my relationship with John is the same as with Paul, actually it is not. There might be many similarities, but the relationship that I have with them is bespoke and very individual. Because they are different.

And it's exactly the same with our relationship with God. God doesn't change, but I am different from you. Therefore, my relationship with God is different from your relationship with God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

So this is a challenge about living under the banner — we have to be careful that we don't lose our own individualism.

Diluting free will

Thirdly, I'd like to think about the aspect of diluting free will. When I look at the gift of free will that God has given us, I am staggered. I'll be really honest with you (perhaps I shouldn't say this, but forgive me): I wouldn't have done it the way that God did it.

Just think about it. Here is God. He’s created an amazing stage called the world, and everything about it is good. Wow! It must have been amazing. For God's sake, it was good. And then he put the icing on the cake — the pinnacle of his creation — human beings. And when he finished creating us, he said, “Very good.”

Wow, we are very good! Imagine you've just invented something that you are really pleased with. What do you want to do? You'd want to see it achieve its potential, achieve everything that you had envisioned, wouldn't you? That's exactly how I would have done it. If I were God, I would have said, “I've made these human beings. I need to make sure that they reached the zenith of everything that I have done for them.” And I would definitely not have given them the choice whether to do that! But God did. He gave us free will. And it’s amazing that he did that.

But by virtue of us delegating our choices to a corporate body, we depart from what God wants. He said, “I've given you a choice in absolutely everything. Use it, rather than ask someone else to do it for you.” It is an amazing gift, this gift of free will that we have. And I believe that we shouldn't dilute it.

Blindly following rules

The ideas of living under or behind the banner, losing our individuality, and diluting our free will, leads to my fourth and final dangerous aspect of saying, “I am a Christadelphian.”

If I'd have created something like a human being, I would have made sure that they'd they achieve their potential. I'd have wanted robots. I'd have wanted automatons to make sure they can achieve their potential. And that's the fourth challenge I think we have.

Non-Christians look at Christians and say, “Well, hang on, you're just doing what you're told. You've got all these lists and all these rules. And as long as you follow them, that's fine. You are just robotic. You are not making decisions for yourself. You are blindly following what you've been told.”

Saying, “I am a Christadelphian,” really encourages and fuels this idea that non-Christians have about us. Whereas Christianity is completely different. Christianity, I believe, is about individuality.

The purpose of church

So these are some dangers of saying, “I am a Christadelphian.” It can mean that we hide behind the banner. It can mean that we lose our individuality. It can mean that we dilute our free will. And It can mean that we give the wrong impression to non-Christians. My challenge to you is be careful when you say, “I am a Christadelphian,” because it has all of these dangers within it.

I want to ask you, what is the purpose of church now?

There are many, many books and podcasts and blogs that have been written all about this subject. I've read a number of them. They look at the question from many different perspectives, and have many different solutions and challenges. A large number of them focus on the aspect of what you can do for your church. And I totally agree with that. It's something that we should think much more about, of course. But for now, I don't want to think about what you can do for your church. I want to take the John F Kennedy phrase and almost turn it on its head. Rather than think about, “What can you do for your church?”, consider, “What can your church do for you?” What is the purpose of church for you?

Well, we are gregarious people. We know that from the very outset when God created us, he said, “It is not good for man to be alone,” and we read in Ecclesiastes that, “Two are better than one.” Having this wonderful group who are fellow Christians is a great gift.

When we look at a church, I suggest we should be thinking about marriage — with Christ being the groom, and the bride being the church. Now I am incredibly blessed by having a wonderful wife and a lovely marriage. And I have learned many, many things in my marriage. There are two things I want to highlight now:

The first is that Sally, my wife, wants the best for me. While there are many, many descriptions of love, over the years, I have found this idea of love as a very good definition of it, Love is wanting the best for the other person, whatever the consequence. And that's exactly what Jesus wants for us. He wants the best for us, even though the consequences were giving his life. That definition of love is key in a marriage. Sally wants the best for me. And I want the best for me.

Secondly, Sally wants the best of me. She wants the best version of me. And while I fall well short (as Sally on numerous occasions has pointed out to me), she has helped me to be the best version of me. And I believe that's precisely what Jesus wants of us as a church — and as individuals. He wants the best for us. And he wants the best version of us.

So what is the purpose of church?

I think the best purpose of church is to facilitate just that. Our church should enable the relationship between me and Jesus to flourish. And I'll be honest with you, I haven't really picked that up in a lot of the tracts that I have read. But just try and think about it for yourself. Is that what your church is doing? Is it enabling the relationship with the groom to flourish, to get closer?

How could our church enable the relationship?

Firstly, it should allow individualism. We've talked all the reasons as to why that should be the case.

Secondly, it should focus on principles, not on rules and procedures and regulations. Principles provide a focus for us.

And thirdly, it should facilitate us to walk on our path to the kingdom, towards Jesus — but our own individual path. When I am walking with you, if I'm behind you on exactly the same path, the only thing I ever see is your bag. When I am on my own path and I look up, the only thing I ever see is the destination. And that's Jesus. So we should each have our own individual path, but we should be walking in parallel, not behind each other, and all walking in the same direction towards our groom.

So, yes, I attend the Maidenhead Christadelphian church because it helps me develop my own personal relationship with Jesus.

And among the many wonderful things about our Christadelphian community, I want to highlight two right now:

The first is this. There is no hierarchy in our organisation. It is very much about egalitarianism. Hey, we sometimes like to have a hierarchy, and there’s a tendency to try and develop one. But that's not the principle of our community. And that develops individuality.

And secondly, we want and we facilitate church autonomy. Every church in the Christadelphian community has a different flavour. We might be heading in the same direction, but we have different flavours, because we are all made up of different individuals. Now this requires tolerance, not only within the church, but within our community, to accept that we are all on these different paths, but heading in the same direction.

So just remember that. These are wonderful hallmarks of our community (and which are pretty unique), that have no hierarchy and that we have church autonomy.

So in conclusion, I am not a Christadelphian. But I attend a Christadelphian church, that enables me to have a close, individual, and personal relationship, with Jesus, my groom.